I smell like hickory smoked cow.

I never thought I'd discover a home for myself so early in my life. And quite possibly there is an even more suitable place out there, which I am keeping my mind open to. However, for the time being anyway, Montana has proven itself to be "The Last Best Place". Yes, I am freezing my ass off right now just as I am pretty much all the time. But it is so worth it for the great people, the mountains, my quaint little cottage home in the middle of nowhere, and the general sense of calm I get just from driving around.

Clay is still miserable. He doesn't seem to be any better off emotionally here than when in Maui. I suppose I thought the move would change everything but he just isn't as enthusiastic as me. I know he is definitely destroyed by the chef position at Jammer's. I wish there was some way I could tell him to appreciate what he has without directly saying, "Appreciate what you have."

He is right, though, GPI isn't being fair in many ways. Many employees move up quickly who don't deserve to and many employees get held back who don't deserve to be. And it seems that if there is at least one person who has authority or works in HR who doesn't like you then you are basically doomed. I think important decisions are made based on hearsay more often than not, which causes situations like Clay's.

It isn't wonderful to be working at a fried chicken and barbeque restaurant. My nickname is Carrot Top and my boss, who has likely eaten deep fried food every day of his life for the last 20 years, told me that I look very unhealthy, probably because I don't eat meat. It is kind of a nightmare.

But, all in all, they are nice people and a job is a job. I have another interview for a drive thru espresso stand today. I've never worked 2 jobs before but if there was ever a time to do so I figure it would be now.

Also, if you're looking for something to read pick up tiny beautiful things or check out Dear Sugar on the Rumpus. net. They are the same thing by Cheryl Strayed. And it changed my life. Which is a totally cliche thing to say but very truly it has made me determine that I want to be a writer.

And listen to Halah by Mazzy Star. Because I said so.